Letting Go.

This past month has been full of changes. A few weeks ago, I made the desicion to introduce formula to Zo because I had the feeling she wasnt getting enough to eat. Our peds Dr also said to give pumping a try once a night, to see how many ounces I was getting. I did that, I was getting 2. For four consecutive days, I only got 2. This made me pretty bummed. Breastfeeding was an unbelieveably wonderful experience for Zo and I.

I felt lucky. Lucky that it had started off well, and that it continued going very well! Not everyone has that experince. Before Zoee came, I had heard all those terrifing stories about how your nipples can bleed, crack, get infections, and very sore. I hated hearing those stories...so I basically nodded my head and would say "Oh im sorry that happened to you.." and forget about it.

Zoee was a beyond great latcher. Around week 3, we had some struggles, but from then on out, it came totally natural. Like it should. There was such a bond between us! The kind they talk about.. My mom and sis would always comment on how they were so happy I could nurse so easily. Again, I felt lucky!
Zoee was happy. Mommy was happy : )

When we went in for Zoees 7th month check up, I was a little apprehensive. People always commented on how sweet and itty bitty Zoee was. Shes a naturally petite baby, so she couldnt help it. When the Dr. weighed her, she had lost an ounce. Ok, no big deal? We chatted about all the options. Continuing breasfeeding, trying the bottle after nursing to see if she would eat more... And eat she did!!

I couldnt help but feel a little guilty at first that she may have been wanting more after she nursed...once I got used to the idea that she is a growing baby, I wanted to give her as much as she wanted! Zo started to enjoy the bottle more than nursing. In return, my milk supply started to dwindle..I was sad, but continued to pump and give her what I had. I was coming to terms that formula was the way to go from here on out...even though I'd miss my baby wanting me. Changes are hard sometimes...I understood that for some people this was a breeze to stiwtch. I was feeling a little attached and sad at the idea.

Its been 3 weeks now, and today was my last day of  pumping. I have one last bottle of breastmilk to give to Zo. Shes really enjoys formula...and she has gained some weight thats for sure..Im grateful to have such a happy baby, and a nursing bond that lasted 7 straight months! Im proud of myself for making it that long! Zoee,  I love you more than anything. You are one of the greastest things Ive witnessed here on this Earth.

Love you sweetie!